A Thought on “the one”




Have you ever thought why when it comes to matters of the heart; we tend to complicate things so? I mean you would think that being that these things being so organic and uncontrollable, yet we screw them up to badly. We over think and over analyze it and try to figure out the meaning of things said and glances exchanged instead of actually just letting things be and enjoying the ride.

We waist so much energy trying to get the other person to fall for us only to decide later if we want to fall for them, it is an exercise in neurosis. For some reason we get this high knowing someone else wants us, guarding us from the desperation and uncontrollable energy that comes with being in the love space. The reason for this, I suppose is that we are so caught up in finding the one. The one that will love us or the one that will fix us or the one that will stay; this journey to find the one consumes us and keeps us from enjoying people that come into our lives. We dismiss them because they aren’t the one.

What if we spent less time looking for the one and actually invested in being the one. Then just maybe someone will show up looking for us.

Always in Love,


6 thoughts on “A Thought on “the one”

  1. Hi Toni,

    I do agree too many people seek to “acquire” someone elses love before ever considering whether they want to keep it. However, instead of it being because we are caught up in looking for the “one”, many people seek the sense of accomplishment and power it gives them to have gotten something they do not deserve. Which one is sadder I do not know because either way they are no closer to finding love themselves.

    Thinking of you too,

    1. Very deep Ms. Lisa I didn’t see it from that angle. Do you speak from experience or is your observation an insight that comes from above?

      Always in love

      Toni JD

  2. Is not all insight a mix of both influence from above and self-contemplation? To answer the question in entirety many have tried but when you know what the real thing looks like you are not quite so easily caught by an ideation of love. Rarely do actions follow words when the intention is not true.

    How deep do you want to go Toni? On our way down the rabbit hole?


    1. Curioser & Curiouser!
      A bit surreal. You mentioned one of my all time favorite philosophical questions. One which I contemplate on daily ever since I was old enough to truly understand what I would find through the looking glass and my journey into wonderland (a story I hold close to my heart…. more than most). SO I am relishing in this potential of……… (insert Cheshire smile here)

      You are correct I must say….. ones ideal of love does fly out the window when the real thing comes into play. I’d imagine when this twin soul or entangled spirit reveals themselves you want nothing else to explore every aspect of who they are and will spend your every breath exploring them.
      It becomes a complicity that is such that you notice what they have is exactly what you’re missing and what you have just so happens to make them more complete, what an infinite affinity this is, I look forward to it.

      To answer your question: I’m willing to go as deep down the rabbit hole as it goes. I suspect it will be a ride to remember.
      Toni JD

  3. One I enjoyed this post especially the part, “We waist so much energy trying to get the other person to fall for us only to decide later if we want to fall for them.” That’s a very heavy truth that is very familiar and prevalent in most relational interactions. I was going to make points similar to that which have already been posted some that truly excited me and rabbit holes are great and fun! Especially when the are a reference to “Wonderland.”

    Lisa, I agree with Tonito in that you point is another very great angle. I also would like to say to the both of you that both parties must be acceptors of love. To accept love it to accept the possibility of hurt and pain. If both individuals come to the terms of the realty of the compatibility and complimentary aspects of the other person, as well as, the reality of commitment coupled with desire and passion; I believe you have a love that will not break. A love that will stand any test because both are willing to do what is necessary, as well as, they both have a desire for one another even if desire (emotions) fade. Would you guys not agree?

    1. Mr. Santiago,
      Thanks for your comment. I want to agree except the desire part. I don’t know if that is the word I would use. Only because that in effect eludes to this idea we have a choice in the matter. I am of the school that subscribes to a twin soul of sorts. Quantum Physics also has a term for it as well, entanglement. When you essentially come in contact with your twin soul or your entangled counterpart, all rules of engagement, time, fear, fly out of the window. All that is left is raw e-motion (energy in motion). Coaxing you to act on the feelings. We don’t choose who this will be with, which is why when we are out of that possibility because we move heaven and earth to get out of it, it hurts.
      It hurts not to be with the one who yo laugh with, are passionate with, turns you on, turns your head. Their is no choice in the matter. What is, is for a reason, and will remain the is-ness until it is no more.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s